关键词: 非亲密关系, 礼物赠予, 礼物偏好不一致, 礼物赠予策略

Abstract: Gift giving is an exchange of material and non-material products between the giver and the recipient due to different events and motivations, in different relationship backgrounds. Gift giving plays an important role in maintaining interpersonal relationships. However, studies have shown that there were giver-receiver asymmetries in gift preferences. Recipients prefer gifts which are desirable, practical and can induce positive emotions. But givers do not give these gifts as often as recipients would like. They prefer to give gifts of high quality, as well as gifts that are likely to act as a reminder of the giver-receiver relationship. Givers prefer to give economically valuable gifts and socially valuable gifts, but the recipients pay more attention to the thoughtfulness of givers and practical value of the gift. The asymmetries of gift preferences lead to inconsistency of the perception of relationship outcomes. The asymmetries between givers and recipients can be explained in three ways. Firstly, the differences in cognition between self and others that result in expectation incorrectly of the recipient's preference. Secondly, it is due to the differences of self-others motivations. In addition to pleasing the recipient, the giver also wants to signal the relationship with recipient through gifts, but they cannot predict it accurately. The smile-seeking account also suggests that the main motivation of the givers is to make the recipient happy, and when the conflict arises between response seeking and satisfaction seeking, they want to choose the gift which can induce the recipient's positive emotional response immediately. While the recipient seeks the balance between the response and satisfaction. Thirdly, another possible explanation is that the social norms of gift giving impose different constraints on both parties. The influence of social norms to givers is in the choice of gifts and the ceremony of gift giving, while the influence to recipients is in their reaction after receiving gifts. Based on the differences in cognitive, motivational and social normative constraints between the two sides, the gift giving strategies are put forward. Givers should focus on the recipient’s needs and preferences. They should give priority to the recipient's actual needs or gifts that can bring long-term value, such as functional and practical items. However, there are some recipients who are well-off and have no needs. In this case, if the givers understand the characteristics and interests of the recipient, they can give gifts that accurately reflect the characteristics and interests of the recipient or experience gifts. In addition, givers can also give gifts to express their thoughtfulness. When givers are not familiar with the recipient, it is safer to give gifts which can reflect the characteristics and interests of themselves. When givers are not sure whether the recipient likes the gift or not, the giver can buy the same gift for himself, and express to the recipient that it is shared, which can also make the recipient to like the gift more. Future research needs to study the gift preferences in a more realistic context, and the decision making process of gift selection. We also should adopt a more realistic research paradigm and cognitive neuroscience technique to explore the mechanism of gift giving.

Key words: non-intimate relationship, gift giving, asymmetry of gift preferences, strategies of gift giving